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Monday, May 14, 2012

The Evil that Lurks

Author's Note- I don't really write humorous pieces so this is my feeble attempt.  I find my self to be a serious writer, not a write about anything in the universe writer.  So, please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me if this does not amuse you.

Whack! It’s nearly midnight as  I slash my large knife back and forth cutting the bamboo and other undergrowth.  I swear this bamboo is more frail than a toothpick.  I am in search of Panda Bears.  Everybody says they're cuter than newborn puppies, and that’s pretty cute.  I hope they aren’t like grizzly bears because I’ve encountered those twice and that’s two times too many for me.  As I’m lost in my meaningless thought I hear a growl, it’s subtle but it rings in my ears as I start moving faster and faster, my heart starts to race and my palms are sweating.  I finally found them!  Panda Bears!  The rumbling sound gets louder as I slash the last barrier and come face to face with a snarling black and white beast.  This can’t be a panda bear!  I’ve seen pictures of them and they look cute and cuddly but this one is burly and smells kind of weird.  I don’t remember much after that, just pain and a lot of it.  A few days later I woke up in an infirmary covered in bandages and a lot of needles connected to bags of blood.  I shudder, blood just gives me the creeps.  I’ve learned something from this little adventure, just because something looks cute and soft doesn’t necessarily mean it wants to cuddle; just don’t even try unless you enjoy tons of scars and substantial blood loss. 

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